Once A Gundam Pilot...
by Moi -D
Summary: The G-Boys get jobs.......BURN YOUR EYES!!!!


  
Moi ô¿ô: *dances the Can-can*  
Duo: So this is what you do in your spare time?  
Moi ô¿ô: O.o You were watching me!?  
Duo: Oh yeah!  
Moi ô¿ô: GRRRR!!  
Duo: *plays the video he took of the dancing to Wufei*  
Wufei: HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!  
Moi ô¿ô: AHHH!! Now you guys are dead! DEAD!!! I'm gonna make you guys all get a job!  
Duo: O_O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
Moi ô¿ô: YESSSSSSSSSS!!! *pulls the red fic-start lever, and everything goes all wonky*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. You fat cat lawyer scum! Stay away from this writer! I am immune to your powers of legal mumbo-jumbo! Ok...enough lawyer bashing. This fic has Yaoi references, and lots of yelling and screaming, so DON'T flame me if you read this and hate it. Mmmmkay?  
  
Once a Gundam Pilot.........  
By Moi ô¿ô  
  
Duo and Wufei appear in an airport.  
Wufei: Injusti-What the!? *is dressed in a pilot's clothes* Well....it can't be that bad.....I am exprerienced after all.  
Duo: AHHHHHHH!!! *is dressed in a stuardess's clothes* This is NOT the job I want! Not that I want one in the first place, but the fact of the matter is-  
Wufei: Maxwell?  
Duo: Yes?  
Wufei: Shut up.  
Miles away..........................  
Quatre: *wakes up* Wow....I had the weirdest dream....some guy was gonna force me to get a AHHHHHHHHH!!  
Quatre realizes that he is NOT next to Trowa like he was last night.  
Strange Guy: Hey, how much do I owe ya?  
Quatre: *afraid to ask* For what?!?!?  
Strange Guy: *looks at Quatre like he's lost his mind*  
Quatre: NOOOOO!!!! I can't believe it!!! *runs out of the room and leaves the dingy apartment*  
Quatre arrives in the lobby, and all the guys down there try to stuff money down his pants.  
Quatre: Get away! You guys are sick!! I don't .....well....I just DON'T!!! *runs outside*  
Everybody whistles at Quatre.  
Quatre: NOO! It can't be! I've been with everyone in this city! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! *sits on the middle of the sidewalk*  
????: Little One?  
Quatre: T-T-Trowa!? Help! I can't find you!  
Trowa forces the manhole that Quatre is sitting on up.  
Quatre: Ack! *falls over*  
Trowa: Sorry Quatre......  
Quatre: You have to help me! Everyone in this city wants to......  
Trowa: It can't be worse than what I'm doing! *fights off a pair of green tentacles that try go grab him*  
Quatre: Help me, Trowa!  
Trowa: Aghh! *gets pulled under the sidewalk by the tentacles, and drag Quatre with him*  
Meanwhile.......in a hospital....  
Heero: *fires his gun multiple times at a patient* There. Your leg has been amputated. *walks out of the OR*  
Nurse: Dr. Yuy!!  
Heero: WHAT?!?!?  
Nurse: This patient's gonna die if you don't do something! *points to the waiting room*  
Heero: How does that affect me?  
Nurse: Breast size is important to a woman! You'll be hated by all women if you don't do it!  
Heero: Who's the patient?  
Nurse: Relena Peacecraft.  
Heero: !!!!! Heheheheh. Ok, put her under, and I'll be right in!  
Back at the airport........  
Wufei: *walks with Duo onto a plane*  
Duo: This underwear is chafing me!  
Wufei: Just try not to walk like you have a stick up your ass Maxwell.....*walks inside the plane*  
Duo: You try wearing this! *shoves Wufei into the cockpit*  
Wufei: *gets up and closes the cockpit door* Alright, where to?  
Co-pilot: Chang??  
Wufei: Wha-AHH! You!  
Sally Po: Chang! Whats going on!? I woke up in the bathroom of this airplane!  
Wufei: Do you think I know everything, onna?  
Sally: No, but I think you DO know why were here! Spit it out, Chang!!  
Wufei: The author did this!  
Sally: *loads her gun* Tell me who he is!  
Wufei: *gulp* Uhh...I think Duo is calling me! *runs into the asile of the plane where Duo is telling battle stories*  
Duo: So there I was! 600 mobile dolls and my scythe was broken in two! I triggered a chain reaction with the last shot in my gatling gun, and blew em all up!  
Kid: WOW!!! That lady's awesome!  
Wufei: *glares at Duo when the plane takes off*  
Duo: Woah! *falls over*  
Back in the sewer.......  
Quatre: What is this thing!?  
Trowa: You don't wanna know.....trust me.  
The thing pulls them into a lighted area where Trowa and Quatre can see it.  
Quatre: Its....  
Trowa: The 2 worst monsters in the world...and they've fused.....  
Quatre: Dorothy!!  
Trowa: And Lady Une.....  
Lady Une (Monster Head 1): I am the mistress of the sewer! HAHAHAHA!!  
Quatre: HELP!!!!  
Dorothy (Monster Head 2): Quatre!! Now we can finally be together!  
Trowa: So why am I here then?  
Lady Une: Good question! *throws Trowa down the sewer tunnel*  
Quatre: Get away! I hate you!  
Dorothy: Kiss me Quatre!  
Lady Une: Ugghh....  
Dorothy: WHAT!?  
Lady Une: Treize-sama is MUCH better looking than Quescafour or whatever his name is.  
Dorothy: *drops Quatre* Oh yeah!?  
Lady Une: YEAH!!!!  
Quatre: Ummm....I'll leave you two ladies.....*runs to find Trowa*  
At the hospital again.......  
Heero: *to his assistant* Clamp.........Scalpel.........Jelly Doughnut........Masking tape. There! Finished!  
Nurse: Uhhh...Dr. Yuy?  
Heero: What?!  
Nurse: She's waking up now.  
Heero: Good!  
Relena: *wakes up and her head does a 360 degree turn* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! *really deep voice*   
Heero: Uh-oh.....  
Relena: *starts floating* I am a dishwasher! *twitches and makes weird noises* Spin cycle! *spins really fast and rips herself apart*  
Heero: Woo-hoo! I did it! I finally did it! ^_^ Hahahahahaa! *runs out the door and slams right into Quatre and Trowa*  
Quatre: HEERO!  
Heero: Its the happiest day of my life!  
Trowa: Yeah, well, not for us, come on! *grabs Heero's arm, and drags him to the airport, where Duo and Wufei told them to go* Wufei and Duo called me on a cel phone...they said they'd be here.  
Quatre: They're late!  
A plane glides down and lands on a big statue of Treize.  
Duo: *comes running out* HEERO!! This is HELL! I can't stand it anymore! This bra is KILLING me!  
Heero: Duo?  
Wufei: *runs out of the plane with Sally behind him, who is waving a knife*  
Sally: I'm gonna KILL the author!  
Moi ô¿ô: Eek.... *hides behind a garbage can*  
Sally: *kicks over the garbage cans* Now we have you! Heheheheheheh.............  
5 minutes later..........  
Moi ô¿ô: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *is stuck in the sewer, while the Dorothy/Une monster is trying to kiss him*  
Quatre: Well. All's settled here!  
Trowa: Looks that way....  
Wufei: ....... *rubbs his head, which has a lump on it*  
Heero: Hn......  
Duo: Man....we all sucked at our jobs....  
Quatre: I prefer not to reflect on that subject......  
Heero: Hey! An least I'm not dressed as a girl, Duo.  
Duo: Say another thing about that and you'll be eating my scythe!  
Wufei: You're right Maxwell. We CAN'T do anything but pilot Gundams.  
Quatre: But you forget that I was good at my job. *pulls a wad of money out of his pants*  
Duo: MONEY!!! *grabs it and runs in the direction of a candy store*  
Quatre: Come back here with that! *chases after Duo*  
Moi ô¿ô: *crawls out of the sewer with lipstick smeared all over his face* Uggghh.......  
Wufei: Ya know.....There's a srtange absence of angry mobs in this fic......  
Moi ô¿ô: Angry mobs?  
Wufei: I dunno......this fic is just missing something....  
Moi ô¿ô: *snapps his fingers* I know!! Its missing Heero's favorite line!  
Heero: What line?  
Moi ô¿ô: Hmmmm...guess he needs motivation. *brings Relena back to life*  
Relena: Heeeeeeero!!!  
Heero: NOOOO! Omeo o korosu!  
Moi ô¿ô: There....this fic is complete.  
Heero: *points his gun at Moi ô¿ô* KISAMA!!!!  
Moi ô¿ô: o.o Eek....Ok....this fic's done now!..................  
...............................  
Wufei: Why are we still here???  
Moi ô¿ô: I can't stop the fic! The fic-stop button is broken!  
Heero: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
Duo: HAHAHAHA! *runs out of the candy store, and right into Heero, who is KOed*  
Moi ô¿ô: Whew......thanks Duo.  
Duo: Shinigamihasreturnedfromhell!  
Moi ô¿ô: Uhhh......right.....  
Wufei: You're such a baka, Maxwell.......  
  
The End ô¿ô  
  
  
  



End file.
